What will it be like?

My favorite thing to do at night time is lay in bed and dream about what it will be like the day he comes home. I dream about the look on his face when he sees me for the first time since he left. The conversation in the car on the way home. The first few hours of him being in the apartment. I dream about what his kisses will taste like and how our bodies will link back together on the couch as we watch tv, or what meal he will ask for first. I dream about what he will smell like and what it will feel like to rub my hands through his hair again. I can't wait to lay my head on his chest and once again hear his heart beat. I miss my other half so deeply. 

There are so many things that I long for when he returns. I just hope and pray that I can give him the space he needs to properly adjust back into civilian life and not overwhelm him. I hope that he longs for the same things that I do and we have a smooth transition. 

I pray that we will find balance again between our relationship, our friends, our careers and our family. I absolutely love my independence. I pray that I can once again balance my love for him with my love of identity. 

We are almost half way through this deployment. It feels amazing to know that we are really doing this, and we are so much stronger then when we started. Sometimes I go back and read those beginning posts and I feel for that girl who was so broken hearted at his leaving. I wish I could tell her that it really does get better, you get stronger, and thankfully, time keeps moving. 

Dreaming about when he returns is what keeps me going :) 

Oh Murphy's law

Murphy is kicking my ass right now and all I want is to be wrapped up in his arms.  98% of the time I can focus on something else and not let the situation get the best of me. But today is a couch, remote control and frozen yogurt kind of day. 

I moved into my apartment last week, I have to wait on each pay check to get furniture over the next few months. I'm super excited about it but super broke. I am currently moving into my new classroom too. Those two events are beyond exciting. 

Then in the midst of all that, my gas sensor is acting up on my car and my front headlight is out. If anyone knows me, they know I absolutely despise car stuff. It's a mans job. I cook, I don't do car stuff. I won't even act like I give a shit to get it fixed and I am beyond irritated that I have to. Nothing else bothers me more then having to do car stuff. I don't even mind buying my furniture from ikea and having to build it. I don't mind fixing things around the house, or doing finances, but car stuff, forgetaboutit. 

On top of that, I've been having some girl issues the last few weeks. I went to the doc today and got some bad news. I wish he were here to hold me and tell me it will be ok. It's just not the same when he says it across the ocean. 

I just miss him. All these exciting things going on with moving into my apartment and moving into my classroom, I just wish he could be here to celebrate with me... And of course fix my car. :/ 

Fuck you deployment.