Friday was rainy, cold and miserable. It made my mood so much more gloomy and miserable. I had made plans with my friends to go to one of our local spots and do some dancing. Before that I had to drop off Anthony's cable box at Comcast for him. The lady started asking questions I didn't know like his social. I explained that he deployed and I was simply dropping his stuff off. Then she gave me that dreaded look. The look that says "omg" with such sympathy that it instantly brings me to tears. Like they can't fathom what I am going through and don't want too. I got in the car and just lost it. I cried all the way to Carly's. It set my mood for the rest of the day. I tried to go out, but once we got to the bar, I saw couples together hugging and dancing all over each other and I left, right home to bed. As soon as I left, he called. Just the sound of his voice is comforting. Of course my mood changed and talking to him made everything better.
Saturday I got up, did my taxes and met up with the girls. We drove to the beach and shopped the outlets all day. It was a blast and exactly what I needed. I bought a leopard print bikini, his favorite.
Sunday Carly, Nicole and myself took the ferry over to Cape May and met up with Tricia. We shopped some more at the beach shops, stopped at a local bar, then did a wine tour.. It was so much fun. We laughed so hard all day. I am so glad I planned this weekend before I left to force me out of the house.
It is bittersweet though. A part of me feels guilty for continuing my life and moving on without him. Life still has to continue, even though he isn't here physically. I made sure to send him pictures to keep him in the loop. He said it makes his day.
As sad as I feel creating all these new memories without him, I am excited to create new ones with him when he comes home. It is what keeps me going.
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