Feeling Grateful

Sometimes I wake up, roll over and just look at him. It's mornings like this that I wake up and feel so unbelievably grateful that I am able to be with the person who my soul loves and he loves me back. Be with him whether it be physically or emotionally. I woke up this morning way before his alarm went off and just gazed at him. (slightly creepy huh?) There are so many aspects of our relationship that are unlike anything I've ever experienced. So many things that make me stop and ask myself "is this really my life? How did I get so lucky."

I've been through so much, but who hasn't right? These life/love experiences molded me into who I am today. There are things that are non-negotiable and there are other things that don't phase me now that would have years ago. Years ago I would beg God to show me a way out of the 7 year roller coaster I was on. I knew it was so wrong but I didn't know how to get out. Once it was over, I questioned why I allowed myself to be in that position in the first place. It took me bumping back into Anthony to realize why I went through it all. God had a plan for me. I had to go through hell to appreciate what I have now. And let me tell you, he is amazingly beautiful.

He greets me every evening with a kiss. Not just a peck, but a kiss that says "I missed you so much today."

He wakes up and kisses me every morning. The look in his eyes always say the same message - "I love waking up to you."

When he hugs me, it's a tight, never letting go kind of hug. I melt every time.

When he speaks, he lets me into his day. He tells me about work and all the details. I listen because I love being able to be apart of his world. When something or someone bothers him, he tells me. I love that I can be his best friend. I love being his sounding board.

He tells me about his past- bad and good. In return, I share mine. We relate to each other more then I could ever have imagined. I get him and he gets me. Being able to open up without the fear of judgement is invigorating.

His scent, turns me to mush, every.single.time. After a long day of work, burying my face into his chest, and taking in his scent is my weakness. I feel safe. I feel relaxed. I soak it up unlike any other moment. I can't explain it.

Whenever we are together, we have to be touching in some way. Either he grabs my hand or I put my hand on his arm. We constantly gravitate to each other without even noticing it. Snuggling on the couch with a blanket is the perfect ending to a day.

Whenever I cook anything for him, which is every day, he always has that look of unreal appreciation. As if no one has ever taken care of him like I do. I love that he still says thank you every time.

I love that he takes my feelings into consideration about everything and genuinely feels bad if they get hurt. He is so protective and I actually like it. My independence in that sense is pretty passive with him.

I love that he lets me be a woman but adores my tough tomboy side. He pays attention to details and compliments me constantly on them. I can wear heels and a skirt and still listen to 2pac with him.

He makes my insecurities feel like they don't even exist. Any flaws that I feel I have, are non existent to him. He sees me as this beautiful, perfect girl and I love it.

He was my best friend 14 years ago. Never in a million years would I have imagined, he would still be my best friend on this level. 10 years worth of experiences has led me to him. It's led me to appreciate all that he offers and all that I give.

I feel so blessed knowing that I don't ever have to search for something that feels like it's missing. I have it all. Every morning that I wake up, I see it, I feel it.