Fourth of July was tough. I didn't make plans because of what happened on Memorial Weekend and I didn't want to surround myself with people who weren't a little bit sympathetic or understanding. I laid at the pool with one of my teacher friends. Then a girlfriend from the unit asked to meet up for a drink to toast our men. Then I went home, put in ear phones to drown own the sound of the fireworks and went to sleep.
It's tough when the excitement of holidays are replaced with loneliness and sadness. I just want to be with him. I find it unfair that everyone else gets to celebrate their day with friends and family because of what's he is doing and yet we don't even get to be together. It's hard. I try to be positive about it because I did chose him and I know this life came with it. But it doesn't make this journey any easier.
I just miss him. Days like today my heart just aches for him. Some days I still can't believe that this is my life. Waiting for someone for a year. Putting myself through this emotional roller coaster because I know how worth it he is.
I just want him to come home so we can put our lives back together. For my bf to stop living in my phone and in my arms again.
Three months down. 8 to go.
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