Change

This summer has been rough. Teaching summer school and only taking 1 graduate class hasn't been distracting enough. With me trying to save as much as possible, going out with my friends has also been minimal. I've been praying for a change. 

I had planned to move out at the end of summer, to allow me more time to save up but I knew that I needed the change and prayed for a sooner move out date. Last week I called the apartment complex that I was looking to rent and they had exactly what I was looking for at an affordable rate. Move in date August 2nd. I was approved within a few days and I feel amazing. 

I feel relieved mostly. I've never lived on my own, never been able to afford it. I spent so many years with my X that I never needed to worry about just my income. When I left him, I felt that I would never have anything to offer a partner financially. My house and that split destroyed my credit. I moved back in with mom not only to fix my credit, pay off my car and my lawyer, but also because that was the only option I had. I'm beyond grateful to have had that as an opportunity but the independent in me was bruised. I felt like a loser living at home with Mom at 28 years old and a failed 7 year relationship/engagement. The last year I have been able to pay off my car, my lawyer, not take out student loans for an entire school year and start to rebuild my credit. For that, I am beyond thankful. 

When the apartment complex said that I was approved, I felt like for once, I had control back of my life. That I secured a place to live not only for myself, but for my soldier when he comes home. I was stressed that I wouldn't be able to do that for him. I know he doesn't care but still, I feel like I am contributing to this relationship financially. I've never been able to say that before. 

I move in next week and my head is spinning with excitement. MY OWN place! I've never had that before. I can't wait to welcome my soldier back home. It's going to be amazing!