Perfect

We had an impromptu date night last night and the only word that keeps popping in my brain is, perfect.

We went to dinner, came home, relaxed on the couch and watched tv. It wasn't anything spectacular, but it was beautiful. We laughed, we talked, we were just us.

I woke up this morning with this overwhelming feeling of contentment. He makes me so happy and I want to spend every waking second with him.

I try my hardest not to let the number of days we have left flood my thoughts. He deploys in April and it makes my stomach twist with sickening knots just thinking about him being gone for an entire year.

The craziest thing about all of this is, this mushy, emotional side of my personality is so new to me. I'm used to being independent in life and in emotions. I'm not used to feeling emotionally needy about anyone. I have an amazingly full life with a career that is fulfilling. I have amazing friends and family that keep me grounded. I have so many things that I love about my life, but something about him makes me want to check out of it and soak up all of his time. That is not me and I am trying my hardest to keep thinking rationally about balancing my life and him, but so far, rationalizing anything to do with him is out the window.

This diary is going to be a way for me to talk and get out my mushy side. I can't let him see me so needy. Especially while he is preparing for a deployment.

Him, me, us... It's perfect.